“I know you are there, child of my heart... my longing for you, a tenderness, a stretch... knowing I can reach for you, through myself, the layers I have not yet dared to explore. I can feel you, when I traverse the depths of my own form... I can feel the places you touch me, witness me in my pain, see me in my fullest most magnificent version, gently holding me, raising me and meeting me there in your greatest knowing of me. I feel you lift me beyond all I see with the eyes of my past experiences... the road I have walked. I feel you freeing me from my own limits, where I have become tangled by the threads of my losses and held back by the perception of my failures.
I know you are there, child of my soul... you meet me in the deepest place beyond my thoughts and prayers, beyond the edges of my understandings, tantalising me with your light, to know what you know, touch what you touch, the me that is you and the you that is me. Teach me... unfurl the steps for me to take beyond myself, your hand in my hand, your heart in my heart, each footfall a commitment to you, a devotion to share this life with you as family... to surrender to your lead and knowingly rest in the horizon of your vision and glide of your wings.
I know you are there, child of my love... the creation of union that is ours to share, to gift and to receive. I know you know how this forms, how we, as your parents, come together, the wave that carries us to the depth of love we long for, to weave our union beyond the sum of our separate selves, beyond the motion of two people, where we exist a motion of one. The light we carry within the ocean of our love is you... and the light that leads us to become the ocean, is you. The light that guides us beyond the rocks and doubts and chasms to rest upon the shore is you, the light that brings us home is you. You come from God and the radiance of your being touches all things. I cannot not see you.. when I open my eyes everything is you.
I hold you in my arms, and my heart beats true. I am your father, and I look upon your newborn face, sweet and full with all we have known, and we smile, simply because you are here.”
photo credit Jessica Ivy